So I’m at the grocery store the other day and I decide to browse the magazine rack while standing in line. As these racks are intended to do, I was tempted to make an impulse purchase. I’ve enjoyed reading the “First for women” magazine now and then since it first came out. So I picked one up quickly flipped through it and threw it into my cart. Later that evening I’m enjoying reading the articles when there it was, a 2 page spread starting on page 20. The heading read “10 Brilliant Ways to Use Canned Beets”. I gasped, and then gagged, out loud. When my husband who was rather startled by my display asked, “What’s wrong”, I read the heading to him while making a horrible face. I then roared with laughter at his frst response; “Throw it in the trash”. His response was fiollowed by another, and another, as we laughed and gagged our way to a brilliant list of our own.
10 Not-So-Brilliant Ways to Use Canned Beets
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.1: Throw the unopened can into the trash.
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.2: Open the can, pour the contents down garbage disposal, and toss the can away. (A good way to test if garbage disposal is still working.)
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.3: Use an unopened can to play street hockey.
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.4: Use an unopened can as a door stop.
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.5: Give the can of beets to a food bank.
(Somebody is bound to like them.)
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.6: Use the unopened can to defend yourself in case of a home invasion.
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.7: Trade a can of beets for any other can of vegetables; or fruit, or Drano.
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.8: Use the can of beets as a paperweight.
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.9: Open the can and use the juice to dye your hair red, and then throw the rest away.
Not-So-Brilliant Use for Canned Beets No.10: Use the unopened can for target practice.
And there you have it folks; 10 not-so-brilliant uses for canned beets. Of course if you wish to you could buy the magazine and check out the delicious (gag) recipes spread out for all to see over two (wasted) pages of the “First for women” magazine. Those tart red beets are supposed to be good for you.
By the way, did I mention I dislike beets, passionately?
Resources: First for women magazine and personal experience