We’ve all been there, standing against the wall at a crowded bar or party. You see him, the man of your dreams (or woman, for you fellows out there), you want to go over and say hi, to introduce yourself but every bone in your body says its a bad idea. Why is it a bad idea? Because you have no confidence what-so-ever in your flirting ability. Maybe you were recently burned. Maybe you just haven’t been out there in awhile. Maybe dating is a new experience for you. Regardless, its time to get out there, stat! Here are a few emergency flirting tips to help you get your grove on.
1. Make eye contact. The eyes are the keys to the soul, right? Well, then use them! Lock eyes with the object of your affection. Smile. If they quickly turn away, they’re either startled, shy, or not that into you. Try it again. Lock eyes. If you catch each other looking more than once and for more than a second….odds are in your favor that they’re not just gawking at the fact that your fly is down. But, check your fly, just in case.
2. Have an opening line. “Hi” tends to work. No, I’m not kidding. Don’t walk up to a complete and total stranger and drop some line like “your legs must be tired….” It won’t work. If it does, you probably should run. I’m just saying. Be open and kind and see where you get. Have a topic of conversation ready once you get through the standard introductions. Try talking about the music playing, the drinks you are drinking or who your mutual friends are at the party or bar. This should get the ball rolling.
3. Touch their arm. The closer you are to touching their hand, the more intimate the touch. Don’t go all out and try to hold her hand within 30 seconds of meeting her, but if she says something cute or makes you laugh, lightly graze her arm. Same goes for you ladies. If that doesn’t amp up the sexual spark in the room, nothing will.
4. Be yourself. Wait, um, that’s not a flirting tip, now is it? Yes, it actually is. If you honestly want to get to know someone be who you are. This is important for several reasons – mostly because you are the most comfortable being you! And, if he or she doesn’t like who you are, you’re probably not even going to get to first base, much less a second drink.
5. Lean into the object of your affection and mirror their body language. If the two of you are in sync, your bodies will automatically mirror each other. Your arm will be leaning against the bar, as will his. This normally happens when two people are attracted to each other, but if you want to try to get someone to think along those lines, intentionally mirror their movements. It will “trick” the mind into attraction. Or cause them to think that you’re insane. Could go either way.
Regardless, flirting and dating are not the games that people like to make them out to be. You shouldn’t be “playing” anything. You should simply be you. Smile and go out there and talk to whomever you like. If they don’t want to talk to you – its their loss. You’re pretty awesome and don’t you forget it!