Dear Kris Kringle,
How are you and Mrs. Claus? My name is Adelaise. I am writing you a letter of my requests for the upcoming Christmas holiday. I realize it is rather late in the year for me to be writing you, however I trust that you and your Christmas elves can work out some magic for me this year.
Before I state any specifics, I would like to say that I have been a very well-behaved girl this year. I preformed my most dutiful duties and presented Ann with a card during Mother’s Day. It had a pink tissue-paper-lined heart on the front, with her name on it. She was quite pleased with my handiwork; she even put it on the fridge! I also did the same for Alen. I made a keychain for him on Father’s day, but he does not use it. He keeps it at work for display purposes. I have also treated my younger sibling with the utmost respect-I’ve shared my dollies, tried playing ninja warrior, but I wasn’t very good at it, I even invited him to a tea party! I don’t know what I’m going to do with him. (I don’t want to be a tattle-tale or anything, but while I was playing with my dollies, Andy rudely crashed that big stupid fish-toy he has into my dollhouse. He said it wasn’t his fault, but that’s dumb. Stuffed-animal fish don’t just crash into houses by themselves! But anyway, you probably know all about that already.)
As for the present, I would like 1 vintage Barbie (1960, not the remake) Mint. The first they ever created. Though I don’t suppose your elves bid for things on eBay since I heard they manufacture the toys by hand, so I will describe her to you instead.
Her body is comprised of 14 inches of perfectly molded plastic. Her toes are pointed as they are designed to wear a pair of black peep-toe shoes until the end of time. She has long slender legs underneath a petite torso and tight waist. Her arms are slim, slightly bent, yet relaxed. The palms face down, parallel to the ground with a nuance of surprise and her thumb always separated from the other digits. Racy, yet feminine-her nail polish is bright red. Her face is oval, forehead covered with soft, silky blond hair in tight poodle bangs while the rest of her hair is gathered in a ponytail. It’s just above shoulder length with a hard curl at the end. Nice and bouncy. The face is flawless: full ruby red lips-bottom lip fleshy, with a sweet little “V” shape on her top lip, tiny nose, big blue eyes, thickly lined eyeliner accented with frosty blue eyshadow . She must come with sunglasses, and a strapless, one-piece black & white striped swimsuit. Oh, and she smells like crayons… those aromatic classroom crayons!
Alice, Age 9.
P.S. – I heard that if she were a real human, she would have a 42D chest, but I’m not sure what that means. It sounds important, so I have included that information here.
*This phrase was later omitted before being sealed in the envelope.