It is common after having a partner for some time or when in a marriage that the sex life is not as exciting after time passes. The love is there, the sex is good, but the fire and passion that used to come with it has faded. The following things are advice on how to get that back and keep it steady forever, as well as fun and new exciting things you may have not of tried before.
Asking questions is a key thing that many are too shy or feel uncomfortable doing a lot of the time, even if they are married or have been with their partner for some given time. Asking “What do you like?” or “Do you like it when I do this?” or “Anything new you want to try with me?” and questions such as those can open up doorways as well as let you find out things about your other half that you may not have known before. You should always give and take, trying things they want to do as well as them letting you try things you want to do, however if something is extremely unpleasant for you don’t push yourself to do it. Sex should not feel like a chore, but better yet pleasure for both involved. Sex is full of physical as well as emotional feelings and a great way to express how you feel after that long hard working day, and letting out your more animalistic side.
Having children and a hectic work or home life can obviously slow things down romantically for you, but it doesn’t have to be that way. After everyone is in bed or away, make the time. If you spend your days scheduling appointments and things to do, you surely can schedule in time for your lover as well. Role-playing isn’t for everyone but can be fun as well, ask your partner what their fantasy is and things they would like to try, then explain your side to this as well. It may end up having amazing results, whether you fantasize about the mail man coming over and having his way with you, or a nurse tending to your every need. Find out who the dominant is in the relationship and who the submissive is in bed, most the time the female is submissive and the male is the dominant, however this can go either way. When both are submissive or both are dominant it makes it a little trickier, then you must simply compromise and take turns playing each role. There are several great tips online such as tips from Dr. Diana Wiley, a sex guru and certified sex therapist. She also recommends setting the stage in her advice. Setting the stage is important, having a cluttered bedroom with a mess of a bed and bright white bulbs with “Family Guy” playing on the T.V. in the background might not be the sexiest of moments. Take the time to clean up a bit, turn off the bright lights, light a colored bulb or a few candles to set the mood.
Music is also a big part of the scene, no music is fine although having music playing can really get you and your partner into it that much more. Perhaps really romantic music playing in the background for that memorable love making. Or perhaps spice things up with some heavy metal or hard rock slamming loudly while you two go at it, may make it a bit rougher and more exciting too. If you can in your household, don’t be afraid to be loud. If you have children or a reason why you can’t let loose and scream with the music blaring, then maybe set up a romantic day for you and your partner while your little ones go off to a sleep-over or sitter.
Teasing is key to making the love making hotter, this is where the women come in more. Tease your man in your foreplay, make him think you are about to give in just before pulling back then teasing him more, it will wound him up till he can’t take it anymore, and perhaps just takes you at that point. Stop in the middle of doing a position or movement then start again, for example if you are both grinding into each other with the same rhythm non stop, then pause for a moment and take it slow then start it back up again. It will feel even better and keep it lasting longer. Toys in the bedroom can be a plus if that is your thing, don’t be afraid to try new things such as tingly warm lubes, vibrators and more. Calling your partner while they are at work or on lunch break and having some dirty talk should get things riled up a bit. That way when they come home it will already have been on their mind all day.
Confidence is very important in sex. Constantly feeling bad about yourself or thinking you are horrible in bed can be a turn off to your partner. Chances are your partner thinks you are great looking and sexually desirable, so act that way. Love yourself and try new things, don’t be afraid to be open minded as well as communicate with your partner on anything and everything. Sex is about feeling relaxed and comfortable with the one you are with, so wearing as much clothes as you can while you do the deed can also be a turn off, instead wear sexy lingerie women, or perhaps both wear nothing at all. Your partner will love it, taking these tips should increase your sexual excitement with you and your partner, it is just about making the time and putting in a little effort.
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