What could a baby name wizard be? When I install a new program online it usually has an installation wizard. So perhaps a baby name wizard is a program to help you name your child. Or perhaps in more “down-to-earth vernacular, baby age wizard is what you have to be these days to give your baby a unique name.
Misty Harris of Canwest News Service has written an article titled “digital age boosts baby name anxiety.” Her article tells us of the modern-age attitudes, problems and anxieties people have with respect to naming their children.
Also, names today are anything but ‘normal.”
I remember many years ago that Johnny Cash wrote a song titled “A Boy Named Sue.” It was about a fellow who had been named Sue by his father who figured he would become tough because he would be picked on. In other words his dad named him Sue as a character builder.
Today, “Sue” would be considered boring. He would lose out to some guys named “Pilot,” “Knox,” “Ignatious,” “Armentine,” “Ramalama” and “Valentin.”
Of course no names will ever top “Moon Unit” Zappa and “Dweezil” Zappa, the respective names of the daughter and son of Frank Zappa.
As we find out from Harris, however, naming a child has become an affair of nerves.
Apparently when it comes time to name your baby you should take Valium because it is going to be a problem.
People today “Google” the potential new baby name. They hire consultants. The idea is that the baby’s name must represent the baby. The new name must effectively represent the family and the new name must be audacious and yet seem humble.
If a parent “plugs” a baby’s possible name into the computer and it is not “available,” then they must sign up for therapy.
It is, in my opinion, a sad state of affairs.
However, I guess looking back in my history my wife and I weren’t much better.
It had taken us ten years to have our first child so we had all kinds of trouble thinking of just the right name.
At that time women who had Cesarean sections stayed in the hospital several days. All during that time we couldn’t think of a name. Finally on the eighth day under threat from the hospital we thought of a name. The ninth day my wife changed it because “He just looks like a Kevin.”
This was a habit she would continue with our other two boys because they just “Looked like a Brian and Nicholas,” respectively.
Perhaps, unwittingly, we started this “baby name wizard business.”