At the age of 5, I would throw these outrageous temper tantrums to the point of passing out. My mother had no idea what was wrong with me and obviously my episodes were happening more often, to the point I was literally just passing out for no reason. I would go through periods of happiness to just being this sad little girl. (Back in those days they did not diagnose children
s as depressed ) It got so bad, my mood swings and blacking out, temper tantrums, that my mother would have to take me into the doctor’s office for some kind of shot that would help calm me down. I would go at least twice a month for these shots. I asked my mom what the shots were and all I got was “this will help you stay calm”.
Then as the years passed, I was now 16, a young teenager. I always wondered why I was always so moody; I thought it was because that was just my personality. As I started to pay more attention to my moods, I started to worry; I was having one mood more than another. I seemed to be extremely depressed and almost suicidal. I would spend a lot of alone time in my room, when I wasn’t busy with my boyfriend or hanging with friends. As I would spend time in my room, I would think of all kind of bad thoughts, like, would my family really miss me if I died, or, since I hate myself so much why not just end my life? Terrible thoughts. My family life wasn’t the white picket fence type, it was rather harsh. My parents worked full time jobs, my older sister was off in college, and I was struggling in school. On top of that the guy I was dating would dump me every other weekend, and that exhausted me out. When that happened, my depression went sky rocketing to the depths of hell.
Before I turned 17, something terrible happened to me, and completely destroyed me to the point I ended up in the hospital for almost 3 months. I don’t remember a lot of what happened to me to have put me in the hospital, but I do know it was very bad. I remember all the therapy and psychologists I had to see. I was on all sorts of medications that I felt like a zombie. They said I had multiple personality and depression disorder. They were wrong. When I got out of the hospital I took myself off the meds and just dealt with life.
Now I am 41 years old and have been diagnosed with Bi polar for 9 years that I remember. I see a therapist 3 sometimes 5 times a week, depending if I am having any episodes that may be a concern. I also see a psychologist, who has prescribed me 5 different medications: Prozac 40 mg. Trazodone 100mg. Seroquel 200mg. Depakote 500mg. twice daily, Neurontin 300mg. Twice daily. I have to take them faithfully the same time each day. If I don’t follow the directions then I could slip back into an episode that may harm me and others. Bipolar is a disease that one does not want to reckon with. It took me years to finally get the help I needed, but, I had to be tested, and accept the fact that I am bipolar.
Are there any differences in depression and bipolar? Yes I believe so. I have actually taken a lot of time out to learn the differences and read more about my disease. Here are some links to help: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/08/080831114715.htm# and http://www.signsofbipolar.com/Basics/what-is.html
How does a person cope with bipolar? The way I cope with Bipolar is my treatment of meds, therapy, psychologist, and relying on my husband who has pulled me through some very bad times. My children are my rocks, I adore each of them and I feel that I am now a better parent than I was in the past. They are proud of me, and dealing with bipolar is not easy, but with my children’s bright eyes and smiling faces how could I not want to get help.
If for some reason you feel you may have Bipolar, don’t hesitate, go to a doctor and have it checked. It can take your life away from you if you let it.
