It is fall again and summer has left us to go South. It is also almost that time of the year. You know the time when eating is all we think about and candy, dessert and turkey dominate all thoughts. Yes, we are all submissive beings in serious need of some diversion to get us through this season, so let’s find some alternative things to do with all those things that help to make us so fat.
1. Stage a weekend long protest in front of Dunkin Donuts and stay there yourself the entire time:
Now, what would this be all about? You know the advertisements on the windows of the Dunkin Donuts you pass that sell you a Box of Joe for only 100 calories and then add twelve lovely donuts for only $5? Did you notice that the 2500 to 3000 calories those would amount to does not appear anywhere on this promotion?
Also did you notice the smart choice of an apple caramel muffin – oh so perfect for the harvesting time, with no calories again that blazes forth in wide-eyed innocence stating that it is indeed a “low fat” choice? Did you know that this particular delicacy will cost you 430 of the, oh on average 1800 to 2000 calories, you should actually be consuming today?
So there you have it. Two really great reasons to burn calories by making huge signs and parading endlessly for a period of over twelve hours in front of these houses of “SIN” that try to sell us fat at a discount. During the protest, do not get a chair and sit down either. That would defeat the purpose. You could even go so far as to provide really healthy snacks outside of the establishment you are so admirably fighting against. You should burn about 500 to 700 calories doing one such day consisting of at least 12 hours.
2. Go hiking and marvel at the leaves turning:
If you are so fortunate as to live in the North East like we are you should pack yourself some trial mix and hit the road to go see the hills coming alive with colour in upstate New York, Pennsylvania and of course Jersey. There are countless really beautiful hiking trials that would give you ample opportunity to breathe some clean air and flex those leg muscles. All of this happening too while you are admiring the wonder of a pallet no one has ever really captured perfectly in my opinion.
3. Buy a turkey for Thanksgiving and use it as a weight training tool.
Hehe, yes I am a vegetarian and there is nothing more distasteful than raw meat to the touch (in my opinion), but the idea of freezing the turkey and using it as a weight in my muscle building effort really has some appeal. Can you imagine the sight greeting a family running into a kitchen when mommy has decided that food could be used to lose rather than gain weight. Interesting idea really!
4. Decorate the yard for a fun filled halloween:
Yes, there is more fun to be had by just decorating the yard and getting it ready for that sacred night when kids love to be scared and parents’ only fear is the coming dentist bill. First you start by weeding the garden and planting some seasonal beauties. Believe me, not only do you get your hands dirty, but you also gain the satisfaction of creating a space worthy of admiration and years of pleasure. The calories you burn by starting this process is a bonus but add to that the hours you will need to spend for years to come and you have a guaranteed method of weight loss that will never feel like it.
After the garden is prepared it is time to haul out all the decorations and to get them situated. If you are extravagant you can even add lights and some music. Playing “Thriller” this year with some of your friends and yourself perfecting the moonwalk and the dances we all loved to see Michael Jackson do, will be a hit and just rehearsing for that evening will be funfilled weight loss.
5. Go see a live concert this fall:
Now where would you go and how much could you spend? Admittedly it is easier in the summer when summer programs provide free entertainment, but people like Bruce Springsteen still have some shows at Madison Square Gardens. If you don’t burn calories jumping up and down while in the crowd watching The Boss, nothing will get you going. Again, my opinion. I figure going to see your favorite artist in concert and participating actively will leave you with pleasantly affected legs and definitely some reminders in the morning.
6. Discover the joys of charity and walking:
There are several walks happening right now to collect money to help find a cure for Breast Cancer. There are longer as well as 5 mile walks and all of these serve the dual purpose of reaching out to help and walking off some of the abundance we have in New York City. The Avon walk comes to mind immediately but just doing a search online will show you where you can go to get involved and discover the joys of giving of your time and your excess weight to benefit others.
7. Go play in the park with your kids while you can:
Nothing helps you burn calories faster than running around with the kids and running after them to stop them from getting hurt. Instead of sitting and watching, learn the art of basketball from your overactive teenage boy. I saw a mother doing some amazing things with that ball just the other day and she has a figure that only evokes admiration from all around her. How’d she get it? Playing and forgetting that it is all some form of exercise. She played herself thin and lost 50 pounds and gained hours of peace of mind when her kids actually stopped driving her insane indoors and frolicked around outdoors.
8. Go “Trick or Treating”:
This brings me back to a good thing I saw in Dunkin the other day, and no, I am not schizophrenic. They have little UNICEF baskets that you can either give your kids on halloween or carry around yourself while the kids collect candy. This helps you get out and strecth those legs, helps you feel like your kids are safer and helps millions of kids who have nothing. All of these things make the little walking more than worth it.
9. Play tennis with the excess candy:
This might seem a little extreme … yes I guess it is and it is time for me to end this piece of informal medical science I so brilliantly crafted.
I lost 56 pounds this year cutting down on sugar and then incorporating strenuous exercise, but long before I did that I walked daily and lost almost 25 pounds just by doing that. Very few things give me more joy and has given me so much. I hope that you can find at least one activity worth doing in this missive and that fall becomes a hoot and a wonderful opportunity to grow your consciousness and your life!
