As life would have it divorce and separation can be inevitable. The greatest concern a parent should have after wards is the on going relationship with their child or children. More than often depending on the separation it can be overwhelming to both the adult as well as the child. In any event communication is a key role in keeping the parent child relationship on solid ground.
By communicating this would mean do not shut the child out regardless of your feelings and emotions toward the separation. Sometimes we fall into a slump and feel we are better off alone for a while and while doing so we directly put a wall in front of the one who may really need to be with us. As an example some parents may work a lot and unknowingly get to wrapped up in our professional world to the point we slow down the lines of communicating with our children.
For a child being able to talk whether to just express opinions on school or friends or maybe just to spend time talking with you can be a very important foundation to them as far as being comfortable in opening up on serious issue’s later. If you do nothing else but a phone call during the day for a child this could be a feeling of need for them as well as yourself. Of course as they get older sometimes the phone calls may be short and sweet, but it still gives the sense of interest in their day to day.
One large factor is to listen to them. Ask questions on the topics their talking to you about. One big “do not” would be to use the time up talking about your work or how your day is going or went. This pushes the child to a sense that your concern and interest only lay in what you feel is important. This can lead to a loss of interest in even talking with you on subjects or issue’s. Failed relationship’s can be hard on any one. These relationship’s that involve children can also be complex because there may be occasions of question and answer sessions that the child wants to have pertaining to the failed relationship. In this event all a parent can do is reassure the child that even though the relationship is gone in the adult form that your relationship with them is for ever and you will be there for them.
One good thing is to make an arrangement with the child for at least a 20 to 30 minute conversation a day or maybe a couple of times a week by phone when your at work or traveling. Both sit down and discuss what would be a good time and what day would be the best. This helps because the child feels like they have a say so or input into a commitment with you. When the time comes for the phone date do not get distracted from the call or conversation. Be some where that you can not be interrupted. Plus do not put your child on hold while you take another call because in the middle of a conversation this could end the interest on their end.
Children really require less of us than anything in our day. All they require is a voice and interest. They just like to feel that they are being heard when they speak and for them that can mean more than our promotion or making the big closure on a deal. Sometimes as adults we fail to communicate with each other and this leads to many of the problems we have in failed relationships. With this if we do the same with children then we are raising the next generation of closed doors.