It is not unusual to want to be in a rewarding relationship. For some it is at the top of their list of life’s goals. No wonder one might hang on to what used to be a dynamite relationship. We hold out for it to get back some of the luster. There are times however, when no matter how much we overlook or make excuses the relationship has hit a dead end. Then it is time to face reality and look at only the facts.
Spending Less Time Together
Perhaps it started gradually, instead of seeing each other every day, it fell back to “most days of the week.” This is certainly healthy as we grow in a relationship. Spending time apart from each other builds trust, and it allows each the chance to pursue friendships or other interests. There may even be weeks where the time together takes a back seat and seeing each other once is a treat! Life happens. It is when this starts to be the norm, that it can become an indicator of relationship troubles.
If you are certain that it is only because of work, or sickness, or other commitments, then there is no need for alarm. It is when you hear your significant other talking about the time he or she has spent with others, out having fun, that there should be concerns. After all, aren’t you the one who is supposed to be his or her special someone? If you are so special, why isn’t time being made for you?
Did you ever notice when going out with you was so important, that a phone call or texting was a nuisance? All that mattered was you. An occasional phone call is OK. Same for a text message. But to be having a whole conversation with another person while you are supposed to be getting some one-on-one time together, is wrong, especially if your time together was planned. You deserve full attention.
If the phone calls seem to be more frequent, and you casually notice that the name lit up on the phone says “mom” it doesn’t always mean that “mom” is on the opposite end. Some people like to think they are smarter than others. If it says mom, we are supposed to take it as such. It isn’t difficult to program one’s phone with a different name. This trick is probably done more often than we think. You do not deserve to be sitting around faithfully if your sweetheart is flirting with another.
You also need to pay attention to the frequency of calls to you, and whether or not your calls are being returned. It is common courtesy to return a call, especially if it is your significant other. You know each other well enough to know what time frame is acceptable. A recurring habit of not getting back to you, is definitely a bad sign.
One of the things that keeps a relationship ignited is making plans together. It is a disappointment to say the least when plans have been made to experience something together, only as the day approaches, you are left out. Or worse yet, it took place, just not with you. Some people don’t understand that when plans are made, changing them or inviting someone else instead, assuming you would understand, is a huge let down. There is a literal crash that takes place inside.
If you explain to your significant other that you were looking forward to the occasion, and they pulled the rug out from underneath you, they should immediately understand where you are coming from. An apology or remedying it is required.
Touch is remarkable. It is so understated, but means so much. With it brings feelings of comfort, of being cherished of being wanted. It is not unusual to crave a touch from the one you love. When touching came easily before, it will be very apparent when it is not happening. You will miss it immediately.
If you inquire about the lack of touch, and then in following meetings it still isn’t there, be aware that the easiness between you has changed, especially from the one who is withholding the touch.
When you know someone, noticing changes in them comes easy. It is important to look at the facts, not just what “used to be” when deciding whether or not the relationship is still for you.