– I want to learn how to crap, and be healthy.
– ( To Ross) I eat crap.
-( While Kimberly was practicing) Paddling is good for her. You know, I think that the wet suit helps the jiggle, and that’s …that’s a good thing.
-( Referring to Kim’s victory over him during the kayak race challenge) A big girl needs to celebrate. So let her celebrate, eat some cake and HoHo’s. You know she’s hungry, and we’ll write it off like that.
-I’m being physically threatened on a show. Lawyer time!
– ( To Stacey Kaiser) I would give you one though, Stacey. I would give you one of my products.
– ( To Harvey Walden) If he agrees to combat… if you agreed to combat I’d fight you.
-I’ve been eating what I eat, and I think the greatest victory is a victory of self. Dogs are rewarded…treats… you call them prizes. Life without conflict is nirvana, and that is what man has been searching for since the dawn of time… There’s a saying I like- ‘He who speaks does not know speaks does not know. He who knows does not speak.”
– I felt gained up on because I was gained up on.
-Dude, Ce la vie.
-( To Kim) Are you the American Idol? No.
– ( To Harvey Walden) I gotta move? Everybody else has been up. I don’t have to go anywhere…
-( To Harvey Walden) If you agree, we can set up the UFC.
-( To Harvey Walden) You put yourself in a protected spot…
-( About Maureen McCormick drinking before the dance competition) Maureen drank alcohol yesterday… she was smashed drinking the first part of the thing, and no one said anything. Vodka is liquid calories, is it not? And she had nothing but liquid calories.
-( To Cledus T.Judd) And you’re mad at that?
– ( To the Celebrity Fit Club camera crew)Great it’s you guys.
-( To Ross about his behavior) I’m unfazed by all this.
– I’m standing here in enemy territory.
-This is hostile environment. My lawyer will be on the phone immediately.
-( To Maureen and Tiffany) I could not show up tomorrow and everybody is screwed.
– I like this shirt. I’m all about truth and logic. I’m back and I’m dressed to kill.
-( To Maureen McCormick) It’s not giving up, it’s quitting.
-( To Maureen McCormick) You know, it feels like you’re talking me into bed.
-( To Ant) I battle with truth and logic…therefore I can never be wrong.
– ( To Harvey Walden) Whatever, this is almost over.
-( About Cledus being emotional) Maybe it is wrong to poke fun at other people’s emotions, when they are overly emotional…I thought he could take it. I thought he could take it.
-( To Maureen and Tiffany) You don’t go into an enemy camp to make friends when you have been treated a certain way… you just don’t do it.
-I’m a quitter.
-( To Harvey after he tells Dustin that he made Kimberly cry) Dude, don’t even get started with that.
-I’ve been taking Zantrex 3.
-( Dr. Ian Smith) I’m will give you my own diet book, Dustin Diamond’s… Dustin Diamond’s Every Man Diet.
-( To Maureen McCormick) You wanted me to go for your benefit.
-( To Maureen McCormick) Since day 1, I never felt like I was part of a team.
-( About Da Brat) Brat goes along with immaturity, so Brat’s a perfect name. Brat is gangsta… I’m gangsta. But, if you say anything negative ti her type of personality, they’re gonna fight immediately.