Or, he said, if that seems to be too problematic-by which I mean, impossible-then shoot for a slightly less ambitious goal of eating most of the ice cream you want and living to, oh, I don’t know, maybe 72 or 3.
Say, what is this, the gumpily-inquisitive reader may inquire. I don’t think you mean to discuss ice cream at all. “Bi,” as they say in the parlors of the hopeful, “ngo.” What we have here is a dried-up-creek-of-consciousness essay to mark the first of what has now officially become The Mousketeers’ Unstructured Blather Day! Mousketeers’ roll call, sound off now!
Um…Tommy. That’s it, I think.
Okay, now we have two days of the week nailed down. Tuesday, for those of you who have not been paying attention, is Ridiculous Arcane Riddles Day. I suppose we may preserve Wednesday in its traditional role of Anything Can Happen Day, as long as we understand that one of the possible anythings is that I do not even turn my computer on.
Let’s see now…oh, I think I have another day covered. Since we are supposed to keep holy the Sabbath-much in the manner we are supposed to drive 55-and I do produce content on some of those days, I guess we could make Sunday, Fun with Blasphemy Day. Yipee! We’d be almost halfway home if we weren’t past the point already.
Well, that is all well and good, but I need to get back onto our main subject: Communism. As we well know from the ancient saw, under capitalism, man exploits man, but under Communism, it’s the other way around. Then too, I very much doubt that Kim Jung Il takes the bus to work.
All of which brings me to the central point: Is Obama a Comma? I mean a Commie? No, of course he isn’t, any more than Dick Cheney is a Naz-what? Oh…I see. Well, never mind then.
Instead, let us dwell on the principal exports of Mexico: Mexicans and more Mexicans. Trust me on this, the legendary jumping beans are way down on the list. What is more, I have heard it said that those energetic little frijoles cannot hold a candle (chiefly because they have no hands) to the Peruvian Leaping Bean. I highly recommend a blind taste test. To preserve the integrity of same, you must tightly apply the blindfold before you do anything else. How you will get down to Peru in that condition is a matter of the most trifling consideration, as you can plainly see, which, if you can, you are cheating. Put it back on, and leave it on!
So, to sum it up in a clamshell: a big bright smile and a mendacious “Can do!” attitude will take you far in your job-much farther, I would guess, than you actually want to go.
What, are you kidding?