Sometimes I get really frustrated about my lack of progress with my goals. It feels like I am stuck in the same spot when I know I should be farther ahead. Other times, something in the back of my mind tells me there’s a purpose to all this. A reason for going through my current ordeals.
There’s this theory I have and I call it a theory because certain things have to happen for me to take it a step above that. Some say everything happens for a reason, some say we are our own masters, responsible for our destinies. Honestly I don’t know where I stand because things happen to me that makes me question both. As I sit here writing this, I recall happenings of the past few days. I cant help but feel proud of myself as I have pumped out some ideas that I really think will be very beneficial to me in the long run. On the other hand, I think to myself, what if I were still going to school, or what if I had some regular job, would I still come up with these ideas? I highly doubt it. One has to be in a certain frame of mind to tackle each of the above functions I mentioned. Could it be, that life is making me take this steps right now, to set me up for a brighter future. I recall reading a book not too long ago called ‘Bird by Bird’ about a successful female author who said whenever an idea comes to mind, she immediately jots it down. In the past two weeks, I probably have gotten about five to ten solid ideas, all written down of course, that I doubt would have come to me, if say I were working a tedious eight hour a day job or thinking of some school project if I were back in student mode.
There’s also another variable to this equation. For the past few weeks, I have been having what I call intriguing conversations with a friend of mine who is just as passionate about creating ideas as I am. Well maybe that is an understatement, this guy bleeds ideas. He really wants to get his works out there and I have no doubt he will. Thing is, would I really have a chance to bond with him as I have these past few weeks, if I had a job or were in school?
I hate getting overly excited about something and then having my hopes dashed, but if things go as planned, me and this guy will have some very profitable works in the future, that is how confident I am in our brainstorming dialogues of recent memory.
So here I am facing this dilemma, wanting badly to be out of here and pressing on with my life, but yet circumstances or is it fate, demands that I remain here. It just sucks knowing you have so many golden ideas and not knowing how to implement them but if my theory does hold true, that shouldn’t be a problem for long. The framework being built will eventually connect me to my success. I have to stay hopeful about it. Too much is at stake. Till next time…peace!