There are hundreds of diets out there. There are hundreds of programs and thousands of books. There are TV weight-loss Gurus and myriads of supplements and chemicals that promise you that they will help you lose weight – effortlessly. Well, I think it is time to draw some attention, some acknowledgment and to provide some help to the under served people out there who really want to gain some weight.
Standing around the coffee pot or water cooler at the office, many people are talking about their weight – About how much they would like to lose and about how hard they are working on losing it. They are paying for programs like Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers, have joined health clubs to work out regularly and are declining fatty and highly caloric foods. Societally, this has taken on a value added implication.
But, how about the other side of the coin? How about the many people who, seemingly born with the metabolisms of hummingbirds, are unable to gain weight and really want to?
After many years of research, done for the most part very quietly and primarily in small, relatively unknown countries in Eastern Europe and Africa, the remarkable “Dr. Boris’s Guaranteed Weight Gain Diet” has been released to the public. There is no charge for the program and it is deceptively simple.
Like most programs designed to help people achieve change, the structure of the program itself is relatively simple. The difficulty comes in the effort to actualize it for one’s self.
The elements of Dr. Boris’s Weight Gain Diet are pretty straight forward and, as you might expect, are diametrically opposed to the guiding principles of most well known weight loss diets,
most of which require the consumption of fewer calories and increased exercise to speed up the person’s metabolism and ability to burn consumed calories more quickly and completely.
Dr. Boris’s Guaranteed Weight Gain Diet requires, as you might have supposed, precisely the opposite.
The most heavily researched groups (a total of over 5,000 people between the ages of 18 and 45, each of whom acknowledged that they were too thin and wished to be able to gain at least 15-20 pounds) in a small republic that was a former part of the Soviet Union volunteered for Dr. Boris’s Guaranteed Weight Gain Diet and participated for an average of 2 years. Over that period, over 80% of the participants actually met their weight gain goal.
Though not yet published in English (or scientifically reviewed by anyone outside of this small republic,) the results are rather remarkable. If you wish to gain weight, you might want to give this a try. There are two fundamental elements:
1) Eat more highly caloric, high in carbohydrate food. Increase your sugar intake by 200-500% per day. Twinkies and beer are a fine combination to start with. Not one beer, but six – ten per day. Not one Twinkie – but a case or two a week. Concurrently,
2) Get as little exercise as is possible. Time spent sitting (for hour upon hour on end) in front of the TV is nearly ideal – eating at the same time if possible. Avoid anything that is not indicative of absolute sloth and lethargy. Sit still and eat fattening things.
It is not magic. You will gain weight.
Like any weight-related program, Dr. Boris’s Guaranteed Weight Gain Diet will only work for those truly motivated. People who sneak out to exercise or who hide healthy snacks away in the kitchen to consume when they think no one is looking will likely fail.
The technique is, as you see, quite simple. The complexities and difficulties arise from a person’s possible residual ambivalence about really wanting to make this life change – to gain weight.
There are no membership fees. Products for sale, meetings or registrations required. This is Dr. Boris’s gift to the world – at least to the part of it that wants to be bigger and fatter than it already is.
There is no such thing as too much dessert.