You see, Cosmopolitan has it all wrong.
Yeah, sexual seduction does indeed help win that guy you’ve been crushing over the past week; however, there are tons more elements to it than just gyrating in front of his face. You may not think so, but really, there is. Some of these women’s magazines are starting to really understand: guys are as complex as we are; they just have a different way of expressing it. They’re human after all, and that means in turn they are a complex individual with a separate personality, thought, likes and etcetera. After having been a tomboy a good portion of my life, having tons of guy friends and being on the dating scene, I’ve finally come to realize a few things that we girls need to put more effort into.
Some of my guy friends will come to me and talk at me about how their girlfriends are off on a tangent once more. I say talk ‘at me’ because I really don’t bestow any wisdom upon them or anything, I just laugh with them and maybe say some sexist joke (it’s cool, I’m a chick, and it’s allowed). However, I see a common problem arising in the girls of today–Some of ya’ll are way too entitled and hovering! Allow me to elaborate…
I wholly believe in independence within a woman, and that feminism is good when in moderation. A full dose of woman hoorah is just annoying, and quite honestly, turns off the guys. Independence within a woman, in my opinion, is when you’re confident in yourself. You know you’re hot stuff, you know you’re a pretty damn fine catch, you know all these things, but, don’t let it get to your head. Allow for that new guy in your life to figure it out, piece the puzzle together. It means that you don’t need a man 24/7; you don’t need to be in a relationship. You can date like a guy, get that ego boost, and then get back to serious business. When you start shunning dresses and make-up, however … Well, that’s just a tragedy.
We are creatures that need to primp, we can use this multi-billion dollar beauty industry to our advantage and be, well quite simply, a man eater. That’s why it was created. Being girly in that sense does not mean you have to be a Damsel in Distress. That’s just stereotyping, and you want to surprise that guy. Wear that slinky dress during a nice date, but, be casual and comfy during your hang out time when you’re veggin’ out in front of the television. Be versatile.
Onto actual relationship advice, now. I made these tips into a list, if you don’t mind:
1.) Do Not Hound Him! Remember when you were a teenager, and your parents would hound you about where you are going, who’s going to be there and what’s going on? Yeah, none of us liked it and neither does he. It’s great you’re concerned about his well-being, but just like that parent with a teenager, let them live a lil’ bit. And, if you don’t trust him well enough to hang out with his own friends, then why the hell are you giving him a chance?
2.) Do Not Call Everyday…IF! If you see him every day. You’re going to get burnt out on each other, and will have nothing of interest to say. Leave him wanting more—Don’t call for a bit. Let things build up to talk to each other about. All of us have lives to tend to.
3.) Let Him Be Free. Allow him to enjoy some times to hang out with the guys, since you do the same with the girls. However, I see often that girl reprimanding her man for wanting to hang out with his own friends. Shame on you, girl! That isn’t flexing your independent muscles correctly.
4.) Don’t Be Mean. Mocking his hobbies or interests to his face isn’t very smart, since it will only lead to a vicious cycle of you guys being cynical. You may tease and poke-fun, but that’s it. Or, keywords: to his face. You may joke around with your girlfriends, since he’ll be doing the same about your mani-pedi appointments and mini freak-out’s to the guys. Remember, though; give him ego-boosts, as he will do so in return. Not just physical compliments, but ones about his personality or talents.
5.) Do Not Be A Prude. Ladies, I cannot express this enough. If you’re in a trusted relationship, and you’re still not putting out, it’s obviously not going to work out too well. Do NOT be self-conscious about your body. He’s with you for a reason! He thinks you are sexy, so unleash that sex kitten from within. Be that Victoria’s Secret model just for him. He’ll love it. You won’t get kooties, I promise.
6.) Be fair, mutual and equal. Any relationship advice article or guru will tell you that compromise and equality are the fundamentals of any relationship. And it’s true. This isn’t about you completely–It’s about the both of you and what you both like. That also means being eclectic in what you talk about—if he doesn’t understand the workings of what goes into your outfit or make-up, then he isn’t going to be interested on your thoughts of that new mascara.
7.) Do Not Say ‘I Love You’ So Loosely. You just met and started dating a month ago and are dropping the L-word? No good! Be choosy about who you say this to. It does have a lot of meaning behind it, despite being three simple words.
Now, you might be asking: Stephanie, do you follow this advice? Yes, and then some. I could probably write a novel on this type of subject, but for now, I’ll settle with a lengthy article.
Ladies, being entitled to something is a bit pretentious. Yes, you’re a hard-working gal, but, he’s also a hard-working man. Show some respect–as Aretha Franklin keeps telling us. She had something going there.