I should have gone back to bed and just buried my head today. There’s no doubt about it. My first clue was getting out of bed and stubbing my toe. But did I listen? No.
I hop into the bathroom, thinking, “Okay, okay. Just off to a rocky start. No big deal.”
First thing on the list of things to do this morning: a nice hot shower. It was just the ticket to wake up proper, and sooth my wounded soul and toe. I turned on the water. And waited. And waited. No hot water. My second clue I should just go back to bed and chalk up the day to a lost cause. But did I listen? No.
I gather up my things, and head across to mom’s house. Not a problem I can still salvage the day. I will just use her shower. Everything will be just fine I tell myself. I strip down, and turn on the water and waited. Nothing happens… “Uh, Mom, which one is hot?”
“The one on left.”
The one on the left. Turn the handle back to where I started it. Still no water. It’s hard to shower without water. My semi-conscious mind now realizes water should be coming out of the thingy on the wall. No Water at all. Now, definitely time to go back to bed. But did I listen? No.
Mom heated up a cup of her emergency water while I tracked down the problem with her water. Out in the middle of the pasture was the prettiest little stream you ever saw where the pipeline ran. Well, there goes the electric bill for the month. Now, time for bed. But did I listen? No.
Get back to my house and get the kids up. Send the oldest out to turn off the pump while I run to mom’s and use a cup full of water and fantasize about a two hour shower, then rush to town so I’m not late to work. Okay. Against overwhelming odds, I still manage to arrive bright and early. A couple of phone calls to locate someone to fix mom’s waterline. The day has got to get better from here. Right? No.
The day’s schedule consists of several high powered officials poking and inspecting the latest’s endeavor of the boss. The morning progresses fairly well for all of an hour. I get up from my desk and walk over for a well deserved cup of coffee. My assistant pipes up, “Oh My God!!!”
I turn nervously around. Roof is caving in? Someone’s having a heart attack? What now? “You’ve got a huge rip in your skirt.”
No. No way. My hand drifts over my backside, and the strange draft I have been feeling most of the morning suddenly materializes as my hand touches not the material of my skirt, but my very visible under ware.
VIPS are swarming all over the grounds. The truck is a good thirty yards from where my red face glances to it longingly. Okay. Yes, definitely time to go home and go to bed. But do I listen? No.
Grabbing my purse and keys, I make a undignified rush to the parking lot, wishing with all my heart, I carried one of those HUGE purses, instead of the little modest number I do. I make it through the door, and out to the street. No VIP’s in sight for the second, but two male coworkers are converging on me from opposite directions. Yikes.
Okay, here is the plan. Purse, do your thing, as I hastily side step over to the driver’s side of the pickup. I smile like it’s a truly wonderful day. “Good morning!” I call as I manage to get past the Shop Manager and to the driver’s side door of the truck. There, the other coworker stops to chat a minute. Doesn’t he know someone could walk by at any moment, only to be greeted with my undies that are not under anything? Finally, I manage to get the truck door open, keeping my back away from him, and bid him a hasty, “See you later!”
Now. Yes, now it is definitely time to crawl under the blankets and forget the world. But do I listen? No. How many more things could possibly go wrong, I tell myself.
I run out to the house, change clothes and hurry back, hoping none have noticed I have vanished. Back at work, I breathe a sigh of relief. No one noticed my 15 minute absence as I send my assistant out to get the mail. The way today is going I know I am better off hiding out in the office.
The morning goes on. People in and out. I smile, be nice. Be professional. The day is almost half over. Phew. Nothing else has cropped up for over two hours. I begin to relax. I sign on line and there’s my better half waiting for a quick chat. Yes, the day is definitely looking up!
“Hun, I’ve got some good news and bad news.”
No, he did not say that. I hold my breath as I watch the screen. An emergency is taking him out of town for the next week. There goes our plan for the weekend. OUCH.
The day continues on. Time marches extremely slow. The clock moves only a fraction considering the amount of time that passes. I should have hidden under the blankets. Next time I will.
Finally! The day is over! PHEW! The VIPS have all left but the one staying with the boss for the day. Time to lock up, go home, and forget this day every happened. The boss is in the other building, but things have been normal for the past couple of hours. I head for home, confidant the worst is behind me and that my undies are undercover.
I arrive home and find chores undone, the radio blaring and both phone lines tied up by a single teenager while the other two are doing whatever it is unsupervised kids do. They are all three alive and no one but the Radio is screaming. Okay, nothing new here.
It is time to take care of my hot water problem. Go out and light the pilot. The wind out of the east tends to do that. It did blow hard yesterday. Wait a minute. Could that be what caused the crazy day? Yeah. That’s it. Soon, the heater is going, the water will be just right soon. A hot bubble bath is just what the Doctor ordered!
The phone rings. “Don’t answer it.” My intuition told me. It’s been bad enough today. But did I listen? No.
It’s my boss. Seems when I locked the door to the office, I locked him and the VIP out too. And guess where their car keys were.
I knew I should have gone back to bed.
“We’ll be right there to pick up your key.” Okay. I would have happily taken it to them, so I stepped out on the porch to wait, and wait, and wait. The boss has been here a few times. And I wait. Bathwater is icy cold already. Finally, I see him coming from the wrong direction. He pulls into the yard with a sheepish grin. “I was showing him your place…” His brother-in-law pipes up, “Yeah. We were WAY over there.”
Okay. One lost boss. If I lose the boss-nope. I’m not even going there.
Chris, a friend from the office comes by to bring a part I need to winterize my heater. I pull the plug on the tub. Maybe later, I tell myself. I laugh as he pulls into the yard. “Let me guess: they didn’t have the right size?”
He grins and waves some strange looking thing in the air. “Nope. I got it right here. It will take about three minutes.”
Famous last words. Turns out it was the wrong size. Of course it was.
What a great way to wind up a perfect day.
And how was your day?