There are many myths about conceiving and pregnancy, the sickness, weight-gain, and cravings during pregnancy. Much of attempting to do that love-making routine around an ovulation timeline trying to get pregnant. If we follow advices of books, and other women’s experiences or sometimes even a doctor, we may be very lost when it happens, the positive results of the pregnancy test.
In my case I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I can’t quite remember the year, it may have been way back in 1998. I was told that I may have to get a hysterectomy, or be pushed through menopause early. It really scared me, at the time I was not even 30 years old. I wanted to have children someday. If anyone knows anything about endometrioisis, it causes much pain during and after the menstrual cycle. A webbing of excess skin lines the female organs, and gyncologist visits are very important to help clear it. Not a fun experience.
After being told my future may not contain kids, and the thought of having a hysterectomy done, or the menopause could be pushed along admittedly, (which is definitely not for everyone, and would not recommend it) I didn’t go back to that doctor. In fact I avoided them altogether. I know, I know but a little slack, I’ll get to the better stuff!
Years passed, and I endured much pain, but did my best to get through it, in my own manner. So much time had passed, a divorce, some dating experiences, and yes “active” but cautious relationships (disease prevention, and of course with those things no child bearing.) Unless I felt really secure with my partner, I didn’t step into the “unsafe” role, sometimes even though the feeling in the moment felt secure in the ways of disease, I also felt I was destined not to have children, and I didn’t, so the doctors were probably right.
2004, I met my sweetheart, and joined in a partnership I felt would be lasting. He already had two grown children. It was my assumption that it would not be much of an issue, I could not conceive, and had not coneived in all this time. We stepped into the “unsafe” sex mode, and had done so regularly for most of the duration being together.
Summer of 2006, I had one really odd eating experience while at a cousin’s house visiting. In my case, yes, that did happen in the very early beginning. Which I just laughed off, as I usually did. Really gross though, a hot dog with maple syrup and fried bread. It wasn’t pickles and ice cream! Then a missed period, a home pregnancy test that said I was that I wasn’t sure I believed. A doctor’s appointment that said YES, YOU ARE PREGNANT!
The buzz around family talks. “You are going to get sick a lot, every morning, or night” “Do your breasts hurt?” “You’ll gain a lot of weight, stretch marks are inevitable” “Babies are born with cone shaped heads” “The crying is non-stop, all hours of the night” these words went on and on and for quite some time they frightened me. Until a realization set in. Every person goes through it all differently. I didn’t get sick much, twice throughout the 9 months. I gained most of my weight after the 5th month, all belly. My breasts, never got sore and well I never lactated, so I couldn’t breastfeed, and I was informed that many women can have this happen, much found in women bearing a first and/or second child. I never knew of this, but an interesting learning fact. The weight gain of course, there is no way around, oddly my skin had an elasticity to it, that I never got the stretch marks, though I regularly applied cocoa butter creams. Apparently in my family genes, I never had to worry about weight loss after pregnancy. It was gone in a mere two to three weeks, after I had become more active again. My little girl was also born with a nicely rounded head, when I expected such a cute little baby but with the head of a character on Saturday Night Live! (it does go away with most babies, don’t be alarmed, all a part of the birthing canal experience!)
My little new bundle of joy was not much of a “crying” baby, in fact I had to wake her many times for feeding and diapering, and just cradling, to give that bond that breastfeeding mothers give, soft singing songs at night to get her back to sleep (even though I think I am lousy in that field vocally, it was a comfort for her when she was crying.) One thing that I know is definitely a myth is that babies don’t giggle or laugh until they’ve reached a certain age. My little girl did before she was a month old, and to prove this I had taken a picture of her in the middle of the night during one of her feedings. NOT GAS! No one believed me.
There are many things that can be said in regards to conception and having a baby: One is definitely do not rule out having children altogether because of a certain health issue like mine. Cover all options, get a second opinion if need be. If I had continued seeing that doctor specifically, I would have probably undergone surgical procedures or that pill that does set it in place for menopause and never having children.
Secondly, you may or may not be very sick, this is all in the makeup of your own body. Get those tests done because some sickness could be you own personal health issues beyond just the pregnancy. My sick times came when I took in salty foods. I had high-blood pressure, which could have been a contributing factor.
Third is expect everything, and expect nothing of what you hear. The new baby in your life is another human being altogether. Where one child may have colic, (if crying too much ocurrs always bring it to the attention of your pediatrician),or just straight out one in the “crying” game types, another may be one of the quietest. You will be up all night either way, its part of that mothering instinct, to check on the little one even when not crying. Even in the moments of what feels like complete exhaustion, the feeling is overwhelmingly rewarding, and well worth every ounce of energy. Some things can be a challenge, we’re only human, ask questions if you don’t understand all the ins and outs, but much will without any doubt, come natural. Enjoy in it, because time goes by so quickly.
Before you know it they’re three, and then 13, and then 30!!!