Eight years and God knows how many days. So many days, so many moments and so many experiences. This is probably all that has happened in this time. And I just can’t understand what transpired for such a thing to happen now.
There are some things in life u fear. This was what I feared the most. Initially, I would always be conscious of my whereabouts, my actions, the people around me. I used to always think what if, when and how would I react to the given situation. I never knew and I didn’t know. Time passed by and slowly but steadily I soon got used to the fact that probably I wouldn’t have to encounter such a situation after all.
I was riding down the street the other day. The only thing going through my mind was to get home as early as possible to catch the cricket. Suddenly out of nowhere I saw a familiar face smiling at me. Needless to say, when you’re riding at 40kmph through a maddening mix of crowd and traffic you’re brain is always short. Reflex action had its way and I braked. Our conversation lasted about 15 mins. Enquiries and humourous narrations of only the present were made. There was not even a single reference to the past. I guess at this point, I hadn’t yet come to terms with the situation. At the end, shockingly numbers were exchanged that too at the order of the other, not me. We parted ways with me left to carry on my journey. The whole entire way I did nothing, but my mind did everything.
Reached home and after the usual activities settled down. The TV was on. But there was something else I could see. Images so crystal clear that even TATA SKY would never be able to match. It’s totally surprising that incidents that took place eight years back which I had thought I had forgotten were so fresh in my mind; which I supposed have come to terms with were not to be. Probably memories filled with sorry are never forgotten, they’re just hidden. At the end, the only thing I knew was that my heart was crying. It was like a tsunami of emotions that caught me unawares. The feeling had just sunk in. I had met her and my worst fears had just come to haunt me.
Once upon a time a friend, a special friend, a best friend. A series of events sparked off just by a ‘I Like You’ something just like a nuclear fission. The best of friends gave the best of shocks – Don’t call me, don’t speak to me, forget me. At that time there was no sms facility otherwise that too would have been added. The meaning of a simple I LIKE YOU has changed ever since. Never again I have ever used I LIKE YOU. That phrase has just disappeared from my vocabulary. Never again has anyone been a BEST FRIEND. After all Once bitten, Twice shy.
Five days since I last met her, in a fit of emotion I sent het an sms. Just a simple ‘Hi’. After all that was not in the Don’t-Do list. I tried hard to stop myself from doing that. A bigger mistake would be to do the same mistake again. I in no way wanted to do that, because at the end there would be only me left crying and no one else. But I guess there was a part of me that was searching for something. Possibly the missing piece of the puzzle that could put everything in place. But there was absolutely no reply. I don’t know what to say. I guess there’s nothing to be said after all. Whether it’s a case of Guilty conscience pricks one mind, I don’t know.
So many questions left unanswered, so many explanations still needed. But I guess you got to just carry on. Just like in the ad; Move On.