I’m a big girl, and I know it. I’ve tried every diet under the sun, but for some reason I’m still big. Sure, I’ve lost weight many times before, but I always end up regaining it. Every time I lose weight and get below a certain weight, my fertility becomes enhanced and I become pregnant. Then of course I can’t diet during pregnancy, although I wish I could be pregnant all the time, because for some reason during pregnancy, I don’t crave anything fattening. Cake and candy loses its appeal when I’m pregnant, so I usually don’t gain much weight while pregnant, only afterwards. For some reason, though, I don’t think being pregnant “all the time” would be much fun, so I guess I need to figure out a different solution to my weight problem.
I don’t sit around all day long eating donuts, pizza, cookies and cakes, nor will you see me scarfing down Big Mac after Big Mac, either. Believe it or not, I actually eat pretty healthy a majority of the time, and I consume a diet consisting or many all-natural, organic and high fiber foods. I would rather eat a grapefruit than a transfat-filled slice of cake…most of the time. I’m only human, and I’ll sometimes have that not-so-healthy piece of cake instead of the healthier choice. I don’t consume thousands of calories a day like so many obese people do, and rice cheese and carob-covered peanuts taste delicious to me.
One reason why I’m fat is because I have a medical condition that causes me to gain weight, and also makes it extremely difficult to lose weight. I remember going on a two week diabetic diet with my friend who is diabetic, even though I’m not, and although I stuck to the diet religiously, I only lost one measly pound! Imagine my disappointment when I realized that all my hard work had not paid off. My friend lost 14 pounds, the equivalence of a pound a day. I’m sure she thought I had cheated on the diet, but willpower has never been a problem for me. I’m not saying that my eating is always perfect, because no one is perfect, but I can and will stick to a diet whenever I set my mind to it.
Many thin people look at people my size in disgust, believing that we’re inferior to them, which is so untrue. I am equal to other people in every way. I didn’t choose to be fat, but I don’t plan on being this size forever. Some time in the coming year I’m going to have a weight loss surgery procedure known as the sleeve gastrectomy. It’s one of the newer types of weight loss surgeries where a large portion of my stomach will be removed, and the remaining portion will be reshaped to resemble a sleeve. My new smaller stomach will produce a lot less ghrelin, or the hormone that signals hunger, and it will hold substantially less food than before.
I’ve researched weight loss surgery for many years, and I know that it definitely isn’t the “magic” solution like many people believe. People who don’t know much about weight loss surgery may think that a person is choosing to “take the easy way out” but this is so far from the truth. In order to be successful following weight loss surgery, you have to totally change your life. First of all, you can only eat extremely small amounts of food at a time. Certain foods can make a person who has undergone weight loss surgery very ill and sometimes even cause them to vomit. And unlike what many people may believe, you can’t continue to eat the same bad foods that you ate before the surgery and still expect to lose weight as even smaller quantities of certain foods can cause trouble. You have to follow a high protein/low carbohydrate diet for life. According to Lloyd Stegemann, MD and obesity medicine specialist, people can and do sometimes regain weight following weight loss surgery. Not every case is due to overeating or eating the wrong foods, but many are, which means that there has to be a lifetime commitment to the new way of eating. After undergoing weight loss surgery, you can no longer drink liquids through a straw, chew gum, and depending on which surgery a person has, eat high fat or high sugar foods again, even after all the excess weight is gone.
I don’t care about all the restrictions and rule, though, because I’m going to make it work. I know things will get tough sometimes, but I’m determined to be a success with my weight loss surgery. I’m going to follow all my doctor’s rules, the 2-week clear liquid diet before and after surgery, as well as everything else. I am going to be free of all my comorbities, including the acid reflux, the arthritis, and the pseudotumor cerebri, which causes severe headaches, head pressure and nausea because of a buildup of spinal fluid inside my skull. Since I was unable to tolerate the medication that people with pseudotumor cerebri usually take, my doctor has recommended surgery in order to insert a shunt into either my brain or spine. The shunt, which will assist the excess spinal fluid in draining through a tube leading to the abdomen, is a “routine” 45 minute surgery, according to the neurosurgeon. In my opinion, though, any surgery involving my brain or spine that has a high chance of failing is not “routine.” I refuse to allow someone to drill into my skull for a treatment that fails in 50% of all cases. It’s bad enough to elect for an abdominal surgery in order to lose weight, but at least I know that my odds of success are a lot higher with the weight loss surgery.
For some reason, of the many people (mostly women) who have pseudotumor cerebri, many are obese, and many can go into remission if they lose all of their excess weight. I don’t want to be like the others who have had to have numerous shunt revision surgeries because of complications. Or like the people who are suffering from seizure-like jerks, abdominal pain, and even systemic infections because of shunt failures. There’s no guarantee that reaching my recommended weight will cure my condition, but there’s a great possibility that it will. And if for some reason the weight loss surgery fails to relieve me of the pseudotomor cerebri, then, and only then, will I even consider allowing doctors to place a shunt into my spine or brain.
