No one can replace Dad but sometimes there is a close second. My father is a great man. I love my father deeply and we are very close. My father has faced hardships and illness most of my life. He has shown me the meaning of strength and love. Things haven’t always been perfect for us, but truly I love my dad.
My second dad is very similar to my dad. He is strong, encouraging and a good person. Many mistake my feelings for my second dad as something perverse or inappropriate; however this is strictly wrong thinking.
If you know anything about me, you know that I cannot give everyone my trust. If I trust you, the trust is earned and deserved. If I trust you there is a reason, and I don’t doubt your word until it is proven otherwise.
To start more towards the beginning, when I met my second dad, I was in high school. I came very close to the edge, I peeked over it and knew I didn’t want what going over might mean but I knew nothing else. At the time, I just wanted to pain to end. I had wonderful caring parents, and I’m positive if I hadn’t I would have been dead; dead by my own hand.
I met my second dad, or realized his existence beyond my own pain, on the day that I planned to end it all. My pain was so overwhelming I was willing to end it all. Figuratively he outstretched his hand and offered me life. In reality, he cared enough to ask and genuinely wonder why I was so upset.
Generally I was a quiet person showing no one emotion. I didn’t care about anyone else; because I knew they didn’t care about me. So when he saw me crying, sitting by myself, sobbing so hard my body rocked violently. He was genuinely concerned for me and he asked me how he could help. Others had asked me this in the past, but he was the first one who really meant it.
From that point on I felt like I wanted to live. This transformation wasn’t instant and there were times that due to my own self destructive nature that I pushed even him away. He wouldn’t leave. No one beyond my own flesh and blood had ever been persistent in making sure that I stayed alive. Funny thing is, he didn’t know that he being there, listening and caring was keeping me alive.
When I pushed everyone away, this person pushed me back. Never in my life had I known that I meant something to someone. I don’t know if he would have noticed if I ended it all, but at the time I just needed someone to care!
He allowed me into their (his families) lives. I was encouraged to communicate and talk as much as I could. He never once pushed me for more information than I could handle sharing, but just the simple action of having someone there if I really needed them was just enough to give me the strength to go on.
This person, in a sense became my protector. If I needed him, I never doubted he would be there. Amazingly enough, he was there; I dropped out of school and continued with night school and one of my nightmares followed me and it was told to me by the school that I was required to transport her to and from the class or I would not pass. I, being the scared, timid person I was, couldn’t fight it. After enough time had passed and I wanted to quit he wouldn’t let me. In fact he went to the director and discussed the issue on my behalf. The director approached me and told me what my second dad had done for me and left the choice to me. He put himself out there for me and there was no way I was going to let him down. I graduated 4 days before my class.
I have known this person for over 11 years and though we’re not as close as we used to be, we still talk. If nothing else, I love this person and his wife as if they were my flesh and blood. They are good people and I would do anything for them. I wish I could tell them just how much they both mean to me. How do you thank someone for saving your life?