This story gives new meaning to the phrase “What would you do for a Klondike Bar (or Phillies World Series tickets)?” Forty-three year-old Susan Finkelstein, an attractive woman with a Phillies fixation, posted this in Sex-and-the-Series on Craigslist: “DESPERATE BLONDE NEEDS WS TIX (Philadelphia) “Diehard Phillies fan – gorgeous tall buxom blonde – in desperate need of two World Series Tickets. Price negotiable – I’m the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!”
Well, a Bensalem police unit that trolls the ‘net for crime, in an effort to protect minors from pornography, drug deals and child molesters, saw Susan’s ad. Evidently thinking this was their ticket to fame and fortune, they arranged for an undercover officer to meet her in a bar, where she told him she would trade sexual favors for Phillies tickets. Susan was charged with the misdemeanor crime of soliciting prostitution.
Now, what this woman did surely resembled sexual solicitation, but if the police’s main goal was to protect minors, how many minors did they think had World Series tickets? And why did they find it necessary to make this headline news?
Fred Harran, the safety director for Bensalem, said this was nothing but a prostitution arrest and that the department is not happy with the extensive coverage this story is receiving. Hey, Harran, you native New Yorker (said with a sneer), your bonehead sergeant shoulda thought of that before he sent out a press release and scheduled a news conference. There’s obviously a reason you guys are suburban and not city cops. Admit it, you knew this story would hit the waves like a Rollins home run slam.
Not debating that Susan Finkelstein did a dumb thing. Come on, she’s a Penn grad, and works as communications director at a prestigious biomedical research institute, a job I hope she doesn’t lose. She is a married woman, as well. I wonder how well that’s going at home. How utterly embarrassing and humiliating. My husband has no sympathy for this woman, calling her something not repeatable in print when he heard this story.
An assistant DA said Bensalem police were known “for being very aggressive about upholding the law,” but admitted this arrest “wasn’t exactly the case of the century.” He added, “It’s kind of one of those interesting things that gets a chuckle out of people. Hopefully this woman is not a prostitute and this was a one-time dumb thing.” Well, of course she’s not a prostitute and offering sex for Phillies World Series tickes was a dumb thing, but no one would be “getting a chuckle” out of it if it was treated as a normal misdemeanor and not splashed all over the airwaves on series week.
Finkelstein’s attorney said Susan did not commit a crime, and just wanted Phillies World Series tickets for herself and her husband. And while I do have to say “Susan, what were you THINKING?!,” I think releasing this story, a day before the series begins, was just wrong. How many other prostitution arrests did they make that day? Any press releases sent out or news conferences scheduled on them? Personally, I’d sue if I were Susan.
On a related note, I just can’t take the stress of watching a whole World Series game, so I just monitor them, checking the score every half hour, and if something really rad is going on I can tell by my husband’s yelling. So I hope no one bursts into my house and arrests me because I asked my husband what he wanted more – to watch the series on the flat screen in the living room, banishing me to the vintage kitchen TV set — or sex.
Guess what’s not happenin’ at MY house for the next week or so?