Their job is to listen to your problems, to understand and to try healing all the sexual issues that someone might have. It’s about those who can “train” our intimate life, the sexologists. There are plenty of couples who have difficulties in their sex life, but not all of them dare to ask for the advice of a psychologist.
Do you wonder if you could go to a sexologist? If so, what are the benefits? The sexologist can improve your sex life, considering both the individual, as a partner and the couple: your image as a woman or man, the sexual self perception, etc. The session focuses on personal development from a sexual perspective, concerning situations, experience and sensations.
The specialist helps you to rediscover sexual emotions and inter sexual states, the awareness of the cultural symbols of sexuality, by approaching the feeling of shame and guilt associated with sexuality, as well as disorders of sexual orientation and dynamics.
When do you need the advice of an expert?
Usually, people ask for the advice of a psychologist when a major sexual problem occurs, as the sexuality is a part of our lives that many of us don’t dare to approach or to explore. We also tend not to prevent the occurrence of sexual problems in couple.
Many confuse love with sex. For example, some people say: “My partner doesn’t want to have sex anymore, so he doesn’t love me”or “I’m not attracted by my partner, so I don’t love him anymore.” In fact, the partners forget about what really matters in a relationship, emphasizing the problems and not the bright side in their life as a couple.
The most common problems met by sexologists are:
– Fluctuations in libido
– Sexual dysfunction
What to expect from a sexologist
Many couples are still reluctant to the idea of a specialist to know the difficulties in their life as a couple or the fact that someone they don’t know can help them to improve their sex life. They should know that there are no general rules they should know before meeting the sexologist. Any person who asks for the advice of a specialist, actually asks for the advice of a friend, who is there to support and to guide, not to judge.
For us, the ordinary people, it’s very hard to imagine that a person could discover the way in which we behave in intimate moments and the mistakes we make, just by having a simple discussion. Life is not a television broadcast and the specialists have different ways to work. You can tell where are the partners wrong by talking to them, using various games of roles, but also through mental techniques.
How to find the right sexologist?
Recognition comes from training, experience, the way in which the specialist and the person or couple interacts. Trust and openness / honesty of the interlocutor are essential.
Tips to consider when going to a sexologist
Clear objective- you must establish before going to a specialist what is the reason why you want to do it. Don’t say to him just: “I have a relationship with my partner since 1990; we both want to improve our sex life.” Instead, tell him: “I noticed that my desire for him is not the same as it used to be” or “I’m can’t have an orgasm anymore” or the problem you’re dealing with. If you do so, you will help the specialist to find a solution faster. But don’t get worried if you have several problems in your sex life, the expert will help you to prioritize them.
You can go to the sexologist alone, although it is recommended to go with your partner. Unfortunately, not always both partners will to confess to the psychologist and to find a solution. The sexologist can help you, if you are motivated, by providing you exactly the necessary advice to ensure that you can overcome the distance between you and your partner. A relationship can be improved even by changing the attitude of one partner.
Sources: www.sexcoachinstitute.org, www.yoursexcoach.com, www.ohmegan.com/sexCoaching.html, www.drrogerlibby.com/therapy/sex_coaching