We have decided to have our Thanksgiving dinner tonight, rather than tomorrow. The nephew came up with this brainstorm, and I kinda like it. I mean, if we can go to Monday holidays, why can’t we have our Thanksgiving the night before? After all, it’s the spirit of the holiday, right? RIGHT??????
Ok, so I’m not crazy about the idea, but it does present some material to write about. At this moment, I am watching the sister curl her hair with a curling iron in front of the fireplace. Yes, the fireplace. That is because the eldest grandniece is in the bathroom taking a shower. She is taking a shower because she has to take the middle child to basketball practice. She has practice because it is Wednesday, not Thanksgiving Day.
The niece and nephew are working a closeout shift today at their respective post offices. This means we will not eat at the normal one o’clock holiday dinner time, but six o clock. The day before Thanksgiving. A Wednesday.
Dining at six is fine when I have had breakfast and/or lunch, but I like to torture myself and not eat anything before Thanksgiving dinner. I am at this moment experiencing symptoms of starvation, dizziness, nausea, weakness, instability when walking, and lapses of drifting in and out of consciousness. It’s either that or an aneurism. Thanksgiving dinner. Six o’clock….on a Wednesday.
The sister did all of her cooking yesterday, on a Tuesday. A Tuesday. Well, most of it anyway. I do the stuffing. I was mad at her earlier because she stole my special jelly I add to the stuffing and used it for her pork doo dad. We always have pork and turkey. It makes the gravy yummier. Anyway, she used my jelly, and I am still pissed about it. Who does she think she is? Thanksgiving on a Wednesday. Cooking on Tuesday. No jelly. Six o’clock. Hmph.
Now the sister is trying to find more room in the refrigerator for the heavenly hash. Hah! Good luck! Wait! Now this is interesting. The oven dinger is going off, and she has her head stuck in between the sweet potatoes and the celery sticks. It’s not very Thanksgiving-like of me not to offer to help her, I know, but she wouldn’t ask anyway, because I know she feels guilty about using my jelly. On aTuesday. For Thanksgiving on a Wednesday. At six o’clock.
I just ventured into the kitchen to scope out the progress. Mmmm. Smell that turkey. Five hours to go. God, I’m starving. Crap. All I did was glance at the pumpkin pie and I got my hand slapped. On a normal Thanksgiving we would be eating now. But no, we can’t be normal. We have to change things all around and have dinner Thanksgiving Eve. Wednesday. At six o’clock. With no jelly in my stuffing. We’ve got jelly for the pork glaze though. Oh, boy, do we have jelly for that. Hmph.
Oh, oh. Big problem. The sister is saying a few words even I’ve never heard before. The kids are scattering. Good thing. Guess I’d better find out what’s wrong. Be right back….
Well, it seems she forgot to stuff the turkey before it went into the oven. I don’t think it was on purpose, intentionally messing up my jellyless stuffing. Naaah. So, I just picked up the utensils she threw and stuffed a cooked turkey. Bet not many of you can make that claim to fame. I told her it would be our little secret. Now she likes me again. Well, that may be a bit overstated, but she did laugh.
Hey, what’s this? Awwwww. Someone left a little plate of nibbles and bits for me. A dab of heavenly hash, a couple of stuffed black olives, yum. Oh, here’s some of that pumpkin roll, and a piece of the crusty from the pork. Isn’t that nice. I guess it’s Ok that we’re having Thanksgiving the day before Thanksgiving. On a Wednesday. With an almost stuffingless bird. With no jelly. At six o’clock. Actually, I think I do like this idea. Know why? Tomorrow, I get to have my favorite leftovers from morning ’til night. And a day early to boot!