As the mayor of a Northeastern Rust-Belt city, I find I enjoy my job less and less with each passing day. My poll numbers have been in the tank since the recession hit and my constituents never fail to miss an opportunity to let me know what a great job they think I’m doing. To be completely honest, I’m not sure what to do anymore.
My advisors have been telling me to listen to the people, get back to the issues that got me elected. The truth is it was the lobbies that got me elected, along with the generous contributions of those who were going to be more than happy to benefit off of my election. Where are they now that we’re broke? Maybe I can sell a senate seat or something? That ought to bring a fair price!
A few months ago I thought to myself, why not ask the people? It’s them you should be serving anyway? It seemed a novel idea. So after shaking a few hands and kissing a few more babies, I got the distinct impression that my people hate taxes, that they should not have to help others out with their hard earned money, and that socialism, whatever that means, is anti-American and would bring about the apocalypse.
So, I thought, hell, I don’t have an opinion anyway; let’s work to bring about these changes! They seemed to be good, common sense ideas. Why not?
Then something struck me like Zeus’ lightening bolt! I scud sent from heaven. For the first time in my dull life, I felt something moving behind my eyeballs. The pain was searing. I had a thought!
It must have been divine intervention, like the time God told me to run for office. In fact, I think it was God speaking to me. He said, “Mayor, common sense is a loaded term. Having created a world of over seven billion individuals, I’ve never been sure of one thing that could bridge the gap of your collective differences. When the word is used, it implies that the ‘sense’ common among a group of people implies that it’s virtuous or right. Most of the time, however, the opposite is true. Common sense should be used to signify that the ‘sense’ being paraded around and attributed to the masses is tolerated and comfortable for most, though I would hesitate to call it sensible.”
I’m not entirely sure what he meant by the words he spoke. I flew right by the notion that it could not have been God speaking to me. I was sure of it. If there is no God, then we would have never gone into Iraq! I’m pretty sure He willed it!
If I’m not mistaken, he was saying that no sense is common. I think that’s nonsense. If that were to be true, wouldn’t we only need one political party? Thank God that, in this country, we have the freedom of choice!