During my elementary school years I was a happy child. I loved the sunshine, playing kickball in the field on South Street and going to the playground behind the Board of Education building. My days were filled with joy and play, but my nights were a different matter.
The evenings were spent with family eating dinner, watching movies and bath time. When I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep I would wake in terror. My sleep began normal enough I suppose, sometimes I remember dreaming about the events of the day or going on some fantastical voyage, and then I would feel things shift.
I would feel myself being lifted and carried away. I could feel my eyes open; in fact I am sure I always did open my eyes. All I could see was black, I heard no sound and then I would begin to kick and scream. My body thrashed about however not one sound came from me.
All I knew to do was kick and scream with all of my might, even though no sound was heard. Then I would feel myself being lowered back down to my bed. It was then I could see the dim light from the street lights shining in and all of sudden my screams could be heard. My mother and stepfather would rush in to check on me.
I would cry uncontrollably and ask my mother why she didn’t come for me. I told her I was calling for her. The fact is I was screaming “Mommeeeee!” She would comfort me and said that I should not be afraid. Maybe it was my grandmother coming to see me to hold me. My grandmother died when I was three years old and by age six I barely remembered her. My mother’s rationale was that mom-mom missed me and was coming to see me.
For a while that explanation worked. When I would feel myself being lifted and carried away I tried to remain calm, but then it seemed as if I was being taken further away from my bed than before. I would become terrified again and begin kicking and screaming with no sound until they let me go.
My Visitors Return
As I got older I convinced myself those were night terrors, just bad dreams children sometime have. However, my visitors paid me a couple of visits as an adult. They began to come again as my faith in God grew and I sought to have a stronger relationship with Him. This time around I think my visitors just wanted to steal my life.
The first time they came, I fell asleep on the couch one afternoon in the spring. I felt myself begin to stir, and then I couldn’t breathe. I felt like a pillow was placed over my face and my arms were being held down. I tried to move but I couldn’t. Again I could not scream. I did the only thing I knew how. I asked God to save me and I began to pray.
My body was freed and I could breathe again. I opened my eyes and gasped for air. I looked around and then assessed my position on the couch. I began to wonder if maybe my pillow accidently covered my face but it was still firmly behind my head. I knew then my visitors were back.
About a month or so later they came for me again. This time I was mentally and spiritually prepared. The assault did not last as long as before. I knew I needed to pray. As soon as I began to pray I felt my throat close and my mouth become very dry. I then began to call on Yeshua, Jesus, to save me. I felt hatred coming at me, but the assault stopped.
I woke up unable to speak. My mouth and throat were very dry and hurt like heck. I always keep a bottle of water next to me and I reached for it. I think I drank the whole bottle without coming up for air. After I drank my water I heard my mother ask me if I was alright. She said she heard sounds coming from me like I was in a struggle. I told her I was, but that God had my back.
I still think they are lurking, waiting. However, I am under God’s protection. I firmly believe as long as I stay focused and try to get closer to God, He will come closer to me and I will be safe from the night visitors.