Well, where to begin with this week’s episode of the “Real Housewives of Atlanta?” I’ll just have to dive right in.
Speaking of diving, Kim and her friend, Cory, gather around Cory’s pool for a little girlfriend time. Memo to Cory – you don’t need to be in a two piece, at least not when there are cameras around. Just sayin’. Kim ponders her relationship with Big Papa and reveals he sent her off to the Bahamas for some R&R after the ankle debacle. Kim has a revelation that not only is Big Papa the love of her life, but she’s tired of waiting, dammitt and wants a ring. I was amused when she declared she’s not ashamed to date a married man. Great example for your girls, Kim.
Sheree tries again to have an Independence Party to celebrate her divorce and takes wannabe Housewife, Tania, with her to check out the party venue. Sheree says she wants it to a women-only party, but there were plenty of men there, though I guess since they were gay, technically, they are women? There’s a stripper pole in the house, something Sheree loves (witness Season One’s slumber party where she hired two strippers who brought portable poles.)
Kandi and Lisa attend rehearsals for the “Pocketbook Monologues,” a Black version of the “Vagina Monologues.” Lisa decides she knows it all and repeatedly questions the director’s direction. Kandi memorized her monologue before rehearsal and brought the director to tears with her recitation. When it came time for the actual show, Lisa’s reading fell crazy flat while Kandi brought the house down with her performance, even earning a stamp of approval from sixth Housewife, Dwight (Kandi, you’re in now).
Sheree met with an artist who paints oversized portraits, deciding she wants to debut it at her Independence Party. As the artist takes photos to work from, he comments how there is nothing superficial about Sheree. Huh?
Now that Big Papa is back in the picture, Kim goes on a shopping spree for jewelry, on a mission to find whatever is “big, gaudy and ornate.” If it fits, Kim. Her assistant looks miserable. Doubtful that Kim ever throws a bauble her way for what she surely has to put up with.
Sheree’s Independence Party rolls around. Kim shows up with blinged-out crutches and a hairline fracture courtesy of last week’s tumble down the stairs. Sheree’s gay boyfriend, Lawrence, sports bright pink leggings, a red fringe top and red stilettos. What is it about the men in Atlanta prancing around in stilettos, but not full drag? What am I missing here? I wonder if Lawrence’s ensemble was She by Sheree? On “Watch What Happens,” hosted by Andy Cohen, male supermodel, Tyson Beckford, was a guest and was asked if a million dollars would be enough for him to model She by Shree. Tyson’s reply? “Sometimes, it’s not about money.” He went on to say that million dollars would be better spent at the Fashion Institute of Technology and that Sheree has no sense of fashion. Meow!
Ok, to get back on track. Nene cornered Kim about “Tardy for the Party,” and Kim let it be known it was her moment and thanks, but no thanks, Nene. Well, Nene wasn’t having it, and told Kim without her, “Tardy for the Party” would be nothing. Nene was out of control. Clearly over the edge. Finally, Kandi and Nene’s slow burn dislike of each other boiled over as Nene went off the rails about Kim and the song. Kandi gives Nene the hand and walks away. Meanwhile, Sheree had her panties in a bunch because Nene and Kim were going at it. She revealed her mondo-sized portrait and while she got some “ooohs” and “aaahs,” I think overall, it bombed with the crowd. To Nene’s point, is she going to hang that in her house? Sheree said she’d put it in her bedroom. Can you imagine?
Next week, Kim launches “Tardy for the Party,” and throws a joint birthday party for herself and new gal pal, Kandi. That damn song. Can’t get it out of my head.