Well, tonight’s episode was a complete yawn. I could barely keep my eyes open.
This was the first episode following Jeana’s departure. Maybe that’s what was missing. She wasn’t around to stir the pot. Lone original Real Housewife of Orange County, Miss Vicki set up her daughter, Briana, on a blind date with some insurance guy from Indiana. At least, I think that was the connection. Anyway, the guy, Chris, came to stay with the family for three days after he and Briana had spent six weeks texting and talking. Awkward much? Briana is not feeling it and declares this is the last time she’ll let Miss Vicki play matchmaker. Maybe Miss Vicki should give fellow Bravolebrity, Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger a jingle. Of course Briana isn’t a millionaire, so that may not work.
Tamra’s tool son Ryan returns to stick his foot in Simon’s craw and make Tamara cry. Ryan and Simon have always had a strained relationship, but it all came to a head when Tamra and her hubby went way for a few days and Ryan drove Tamra’s car (which is in Simon’s name) – with a suspended driver’s license. Simon, concerned about liability, let Ryan know he wasn’t happy, then tool son Ryan took to Facebook to slam Simon. Real mature. Of course, Simon wants Ryan to post an apology on Facebook, so I guess they’re battling for the title of “King Tool.” Tamra wants her boys to kiss and make up and Simon refuses, sending Tamra to tears.
Creepy Couple Jim and Alexis show up to have lunch at a swank restaurant. Alexis fawns all over her husband, referring to him as her king and tasting his cocktail sauce before he does to determine if it needs more horseradish. During lunch, she mentions one her girlfriends took a trip to Greece without her husband and Jim’s response is he would never let Alexis go to Greece. Later, Jim whips out a 7-carat diamond necklace for Alexis, which she gushes over. More yawn.
Speaking of traveling, Gretchen heads to Michigan to visit the children of her late fiancé, Jeff and see where the kids plan to scatter their father’s ashes. Gretchen cried, but said the visit gave her closure and let her know it was time to move on. Thankfully Sleazy Slade was nowhere to be found, but judging by the way those two have been slobbering all over each other, Gretchen moved on way before this visit.
Lynne and Frank bring in the “teen whisperer,” Vanessa Van Petten to talk to their daughters about their problems. Alexa reveals she doesn’t feel close to Lynne and feels Lynne doesn’t have time for her.
Tamra throws a Bunco party and invites former Housewives, Tammy Knickerbocker and Quinn Fry, both of whom disappeared from the Housewives scene with nary a goodbye. Miss Vicki wasn’t in attendance, though Alexis actually came without Jim. Apparently, Bunco is so confusing, it’s only real purpose is to serve as a drinking game.
Tamra’s tool son Ryan returned at the end of the episode to drop a bombshell on his mom; he was going to jail. He had some more trouble connected to his suspended license and was arrested. He claims he chose jail over community service and thought he would just go and “hang out” for five days rather than perform however many hours of community service. You really have to feel for Tamra, because it seems like her son is on a road to nowhere.