The third and final question that Becky asked in her arguments that homosexuality is not normal has to do with gender roles in gay relationships:
Becky: “It seems that in homosexual and lesbian couples there is one who is more masculine and one who is more feminine (I’m sure there are probably exceptions to this); i.e., one plays more of the “man” role and the other plays more of the “woman” role in the relationship. If that is the case, then that also seems to be an argument against same-sex attraction being normal. It would seem to underscore that human beings were meant to be coupled in male/female pairs, if even in homosexual relationships there is an attempt to emulate male and female roles. What is your perspective on that?”
Though I agree with the fact that masculine and feminine roles in gay relationships do exist, even on a widespread scale, I don’t think this has anything to do with homosexuality being abnormal. I would ask what constitutes male and female roles, and how did those roles come to be either masculine or feminine? I can think of no other answer for this than what we all probably think of when we think of gender roles in a couple: women cooking, cleaning, shopping and such, while the men fix things around the house, bring home the bacon, etc. If these are the roles you’re referring to, I’d have to argue that these are societal roles traditionally assigned to either men or women, and not inherent to either sex.
What I’m guessing you mean by your question has more to do with mannerisms and appearance than on traditional gender roles. After all, the gender roles I’ve just spoken of have become less and less traditional with time. Yes, there are many masculine lesbians and feminine gay men, and I think that has as much to do with nature as homosexuality itself.
A while back I asked if anyone had ever seen a child and thought to him or herself that that child might turn out gay one day. It is these gender issues that I refer to when asking these questions. We’ve all heard the words “sissy” and “tomboy” before, haven’t we? These are words that have been used to describe children who lean towards exhibitions of the mannerisms of the opposite sex, and not always in a good light.
Though I’m no scientist or expert on biology, I believe that these behaviors in a good number of gay people have to do with a hormonal imbalance in their systems. We’ve all got levels of testosterone and estrogen in our bodies, so who’s to say that everyone’s levels are exactly the same? Why else would a young boy want to play with dolls or a young girl play stickball? To me, it’s just another example of how we are born the way we are, sexuality and all.
Unfortunately, these stereotypes are one of the leading causes of negativity towards gay people, and lead to low self-esteem on the part of those who exhibit these tendencies as youngsters, and sometimes even worse. Gay teenagers are the most likely to commit suicide, a sad fact that no one seems to realize.
Though there are many masculine gay men and feminine lesbians out there, the gay people who exhibit these tendencies are the ones who bear the brunt of negative stereotyping and discrimination, sometimes even within the gay community. If only society were more open and empathetic of their fellow man, more people would see that we have all sorts of colors in our rainbow, just like general society. Mannerisms and behaviors are a part of who we are as individuals, and again that’s a reason to celebrate and not discriminate!