It seems in life that I (and probably several other people) are always trying to cut corners to go faster towards a destination or to lose whatever is following them. Yes? Be it a cop that people are trying to get away from because they went five over the limit, or maybe they are running late to work again and it is a last warning, or maybe they were unable to read the whole book so they buy some Cliff’s Notes. Whatever it is, people are constantly cutting corners to get the most out of their time. There is one simple rule about all people. You, me, or the person reading this over your shoulder- we all want to do what we want to do, when we want to do it.
Sometimes if we are to move forward, we must leave our bad habits or baggage or whatever behind us because they just do not fit into the new life. In my case when I was most recently trying to get rid of a habit which was not going to get me where I wanted to go, I tried to quit it “cold turkey”.
I learned that for me “cold turkey” in the case of a true “habit” is a joke. There is so much of a mental process behind it . “Cold turkey” is impossible (if it is mental/emotional, which this was) without facing the problem, talking myself through it, and dealing with it (sometimes more than once). I thought I attacked the problem head-on months ago. When I realized the habit was not doing me any good, I thought I was mentally ready to let it go. I thought I could keep the habit around if it maybe was not as often. I did not see the harm in it. However, I also still had some “what if” thoughts. DO NOT “what if” yourself over anything, otherwise you might turn into an accidental emotional masochist. For months I thought maybe I was a n emotional masochist. I could not understand why was I putting myself through so much unnecessary pain. I am not sure why I was not ready before. I do not know if I just had not been through enough pain the first few times I tried to meet it head-on or what, but it did not go away the first, second, or third time. (Third time wasn’t a charm for me)
The second(ish) time I tried to kick the habit, I tried “cold turkey”. I went 72 hours (to the minute) without, and almost the entire time, I could not even think of anything else. Finally, about two days of thinking I could keep the habit (again), I broke down! I faced the problem (yet again) and decided that no matter what that I was serious about ridding myself of this bad habit. So what did I do? What I had to do. I purposely made myself listen to information that cut through me like a knife to make sure I understood that this is something I had to move past and I didn’t even think twice about it. Ever since, I have felt so relieved. I do not know why I had such a huge weight on my shoulders, but thank God it’s gone! It is sometimes amazing how much pain someone has to go through to finally realize that if I keep doing what I have always done, then I am always going to get the things I always got.